Where have you been? Where are you going? And why?
No thanks to the folks at the Global Warming Institute, baseball begins next week. Interestingly enough, it is 23 degrees colder here than in Vancouver where the winter Olympics sputter on and off due to melting snow. Perhaps Johnny Weir will mail his skates to Nashville so my left fielder can track down fly balls. My center fielder could use cross-country skis, and our right fielder perhaps could use a luge sled? And then of course, the hitters waiting on deck could practice their ice curling.
I heard two morning DJs in a comical panic because the U.S. has been overtaken in the Olympic medal count. If we can’t win, they said, we should change the rules. Like we did with snowboarding, for example. With Tony Hawk and our world class skateboard stars, we took off the wheels and created snowboarding for Flying Tomato Shaun White to dominate the world. Perhaps we propose ice baseball and master it before Taiwan, Japan, Cuba, and the Dominican Republic can catch on.
Next Monday I will pack four layers of clothes as practice gets underway. I plan to get to the field just after the field crew finishes with the Zamboni.