Where have you been? Where are you going? And why?
I thought women left their husbands for the likes of Brad Pitt and Tom Brady. Or at least look-a-likes resembling their Greek god-like statures. I type here corrected.
Currently across the States, women write a different story. No longer is it the handsome hunks that draw wives away; the trend is changing. Women are starting to abandon marriage for squirrelly looking teens with wiry rimmed bifocals. The tempter is often seen wearing a loosened necktie, sweater, and carrying a stick. “Magical,” one woman confessed. “It’s just magical.” We husbands cannot compete, even the stunningly attractive. I don’t quite understand it, but the truth of these affairs is undeniable. They’re spreading like an epidemic, too. Honestly, it’s been happening for some time. But it’s personal now that I’m finding myself victim. Alarming as it is, we husbands must accept it. What we need is somewhere to grieve together and a place to tell our stories. You’ve heard of A.A. and S.A. meetings. There’s now H.O.H.P.A. meetings. If you haven’t heard of it yet, chances are you will soon. Husbands of Harry Potter Addicts is growing.
The new movement is sweeping across the country. Call it the latest fad. Desperate husbands are no longer remaining silent. Once the Hollywood strike is over, scripting will commence for the sitcom: Desperate Harry Potter-Husbands. Something must be done, and a message of hope needs to be shared. The answer, prayerfully, is the H.O.H.P.A.
Hard work already has accomplished so much. It was the founder of the “ministry” that seemingly successfully convinced J.K Rowling to conclude the series with the seventh novel. A step in the right direction for the H.O.H.P.A, for sure. It was done stealthily and ruthlessly. And this must be our model if we are to continue our mission. Our first line of duty, though, is to reach out and care for the mass of lonely husbands leading lives of quiet desperation, to borrow from Thoreau.
I close with a story. Jimmy hadn’t seen Carly all week due to being away on a business trip. After a grueling time of separation, it became obvious to both he and Carly that they needed time together. But when Carly returned home from work on Friday, she expressed the need to unwind a bit. Jimmy could understand. Two hours later he went to check on her, to let her know he was ready to hang out. “Just twenty more pages,” she said. Twenty pages later, there was this loving request, “Maybe two more chapters?” Three hours evaporated, and Jimmy could barely keep his eyes open. Heartbroken and lonely, he climbed into bed, on the brink of giving up. “Tell Harry I said goodnight,” Jimmy said with tears gathering just behind his eyes. He got no response, only the sound of page 637 turning.
H.O.H.P.A: It could be your last hope.