Desiring Life

Where have you been? Where are you going? And why?

Symphony

The posh seats satisfied one-fifth of my senses, but that comfort didn’t make up for the disastrous clamor attacking my ears. Clamor would be an understatement. I sat 100 feet from a rehearsing symphony, except, they weren’t officially practicing yet. Thirty minutes would pass before that would commence. Instead, each individual member entered the stage to prepare his or her own instrument, all simultaneously. In addition to this, our group’s docent was attempting to inform us about the symphony hall. She could scarcely be heard over the instruments. The collection of noise was almost more than I could take.

Boredom etched its way into my mind. Daydreaming began. For some reason or other, I thought about God. More like wrestled. Someone had recently told me that pain exposes our theology. Questions surfaced. I believe God is sovereign and good. I believe He is the Author of this grand chronicle we all live in. I believe He is present in all the situations which cannot be remembered without weeping. But how does all the daily pain and hurt fit into a coherent story that will one day glorify Him? How does He look on as a child is molested or as a subway terminal full of commuters is obliterated and plan that all of it will one day glorify good? It is maddening.

Amidst my daydreaming, the conductor walked across the stage, shook a few performers’ hands, stepped up to the podium and raised his arms. Everyone’s attention narrowed on him. He willed his arms into motions I could not understand. And then…music. Not noise, but harmony. Magnificence. Beauty. A painting for the ears. The previous disordered noise could hardly be remembered. All the individual practicing once painful to my ears now had purpose. The culmination of it all created something so beautiful that only listening can describe. Only then, when all was blissful, did I understand why the conductor required the chaos before his entrance. Only then.

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2 responses to “Symphony

  1. Glen August 5, 2007 at 10:43 pm

    Hi Luke
    We had lunch with Mimi and Papa today. All of us are praying for you and the decisions you and Shannon have to make. Keep up the writing – it helps to keep our eyes (and yours) focused on God. Your Symphony story spoke to me – its like when one of our Pipe Organs is finally done and some one who knows what they are doing brings it all together into beautiful music. The Master at work…what beauty will God make out of your pain? In the midst of your anguish this week He brought forth a beautiful story about a Symphony for one.

  2. Julie Trumm August 6, 2007 at 2:57 am

    Hey Luke

    You may not remember me– my maiden name was Julie Bryer and I knew you in TN as part of the Navs. Just wanted to tell you I’ll be praying for you and offer some encouragement. You know my sister has lived in 3x childbirth pain for over 10 years– she had to drop out of high school and has been bed-ridden or home-bound for over ten years. As you can imagine, it has caused our family to learn a lot about dealing with hard questions. I think the most important lesson is trust. I will never understand why and how my sister’s life glorifies God. I don’t think I can understand it. But, when I can’t understand his will, I trust His heart.

    My sister lives the verse “though you slay me, yet will I trust in you.” This is Job’s ultimate statement of Faith–and he did glorify God. Of course, I am sure you know all this–but, I just wanted to encourage you with the testimony of my sister. She has a relationship with God that I think few people ever come near— constant pain has taught her to constantly depend and stay close to Him.

    So, “count it all joy” as you face this trial and test of your faith. If the goal in life is knowing God–pain may be the greatest gift… if the least desired. I hope this doesn’t come across as preachy! It is just that my sister has endured a lot of pain most people never imagine and I want it to encourage you–that past the doubt and hardship there is peace in trust.

    My prayers are with you!

    Julie Trumm

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